Thames TV Shows
Rita Webb's first outing with Benny Hill came on 26th December 1967
in a Benny Hill colour special Show produced by ATV. Rita appeared
with Benny in a 'Blind Date' Sketch (Pictured above left). Another
"Benny Hill Show" this time on the BBC also featured Rita
on 11th December 1968 (no details available)
The Benny Hill Show changed channels in 1969 and it is these Thames
productions that Rita Webb is probably best remembered from.
Rita's first appearance was in a non-speaking part at the end of the
programme as the song "Aquarius" is heard, we see Benny
sitting on a park bench next to a young woman. As he looks away from
her he slowly moves his hand towards her, unbeknown to Benny she has
left the bench and an old women has taken her place and is enjoying
Benny's advances. When he realises whose hand he is holding he tries
to get away from her, but she pursues him in chase-cue Rita, who comes
strolling along the park playing the part of a policewoman. She comes
to Benny's rescue and pulls the old woman away. As Benny walks off
Rita eyes him up and down, fixing her tie she begins to follow him
and as he runs away Rita runs after him in the now familiar speeded
up chase routine accompanied by the shows catchy theme tune while
the end credits roll.
This show saw Rita playing a soft-Porn Star whose young attractive
agent Benny thinks is the "real" star. After Benny thinks
that the young stunner will be his bed partner in the film he rushes
in to the casting directors office begging him for the part. Rita
arrives in the waiting room, wearing a mink stole, beige coat and
a white hat with feathers in it. Rita says to the young girl (in
posh voice) "Hello dear, sorry I'm late. Has he seen
you yet?" she tells her that Benny is arranging the
deal, Rita tells her "Oh good that's my girl"
Benny comes out telling her that he got the part, Rita looks at
Benny and says "Oh I think he's smashing"
Henry McGee comes out and takes the young girl into his office to
finalise the deal, leaving Benny in the reception with Rita, he
looks bemused as Rita says "She's the best agent I've
ever had." and grabs hold of him excitingly shouting.
"Oh boy am I gonna enjoy working with you! Come on let's
start here, come on cor." The camera closes in on Rita
hugging Benny as he looks on in despair.
Rita appears in the silent sketch "Hotel Sordide" as a
French maid who as Benny's sidekick makes Jack Wright's stay a misery.
Rita leans over the counter chewing gum and laughing at Benny's
actions toward Jack. As the scene progresses we see Benny and Rita
steal Jack and partner's shoes from outside their room, Rita puts
the shoe to her own shoe to see if it will fit and skips off down
the corridor with Benny. Later in the sketch Rita gets to slap Jack's
head as she gaily marches into the room demanding he get out of
bed. Eventually she is pushed into the bath, landing on top of Jack
who is soaking in it.
TYPICAL TV AUDIENCE
A tv anouncer introduces the first television presentation in
this country of the curtafay ballet company, we see Benny hnd
on head wearing a silk shirt, as the scene progresses you can
hear three people talking over the top of the action, "what
is he suppose dto be doing" Benny's off-screen character
quips, "He's been locked up" Rita spouts back, Benny
replies, "I'm not surprised, dressed like that, great nancy"
Another female character states "I think he looks quite manly"
Benny retorts "They're all the same them ballet dancers,
I mean their all like that. Rita adds "Our milk man goes
to ballet classes, and his quite normal" Benny butts in "what
Cyril, normal, I tell you he ain't" Girl proclaims "well
I know he is" Benny reacts annoyed "what did you say?"
and Rita shh's em' saying "i'm watchign" Benny - "Well
if his normal, why's he running away from her?" I mean if
she was in my cell, you wouldn't catch me trying to escape, i'd
take me punishment like a man" Rita laughs, "Ha, Ha,
HA, hark at old once a foughtnight" Benny replies "don't
be vulgar in front of the child" the cene continues with
more comments,eventually you hear Benny's character complain "Why
can't we have more people like us on tv, we are your typical tv
audience" and the camera switches to the three in front of
the telly, Rita sitting on a sofa dressed in bowler hat and suit,
puffing a cigar with Benny next to her.
The final scene to feature Rita in this episode is one of the most
memorable and is the ONLY "Webb" scene featured in "The
Best Of Benny Hill" compilation film.
Rita plays the part of an actress who keeps forgetting her lines-only
trouble is she is dressed as a bride and Benny has to carry her
in his arms The director named John shouts "action"
as Benny carrying Rita in his arms has to enter a room as she delivers
her lines, Rita in true Radar voice quips "Barnaby, I'm
just the happiest little ladle in the
.Oh sorry John."
Benny is looking more tired and the director ignores him and butters
up Rita with "No it's okay, we're running, right take her
out again. Right action." Benny takes Rita outside, then
struggling brings her back in, Rita is enjoying every minute and
again quips "Oh Bartleybee I'm just the
Oh I'm so
sorry John." again the director pampers to her "It's
okay sweetie, just relax. Plenty of film in the camera"
Rita replies "Okay" and he adds "Now
are you okay?" Benny by this stage is ready to collapse
as Rita casually says "Yes I'm okay now, carry on, it'll
be alright" the director asks her "Not tired?"
and Rita with not a thought for her co-star cheerfully replies "Noooo"
again the director tells Benny "Alright take her outside"
Benny takes her near the door, he is on the verge of collapse as
Rita hams it up "Oh Barnaby, I'm just the happiest little
lady in the whole land, do you love me?" as she finishes
her words Benny falls back onto the bed exhausted with Rita on top
Note the set for this scene also features in the "Hotel Sordide"
Benny and Patricia Hayes are a couple who hate each other, and the
next door neighbour wants to do a bit of wife swapping. Benny thinks
that the neighbours' daughter is really his wife, so let's Patricia
go next door to have hanky-panky with him.
Left alone with the young girl, Benny thinks his luck has changed,
and then she tells him she hopes he likes 'Mummy' and Rita appears
at the door. It's a real nice scene as Rita comes in with a big cake
and ice cream Sundays, speaking in her posh voice. It's really sweet
because they both sit on the sofa and Benny is so bold over by Rita
and her cakes he starts to relax and enjoy being with Rita..
Rita appears briefly showing Benny her knickers (pulls up her skirt)
in a mock soap powder advert.
The show was in black and white because of a technical strike, hence
the reason for it not being shown on TV for over 30 years.
In this mock "News at Ten" scene (NIT) Benny reads the
news as Reginald Boozingquet, and messes up the dialogue and image
details, so when talking about the Queen the viewer sees Rita
outside a slum dwelling. Rita chucks herself into an old pram
and gets pushed down the street as she is supping on a bottle
of alcohol, with a stack of old bags on top of her, while the
viewer hears Benny saying "The Queen, seen here leaving
Buckingham palace, looked refreshed after her recent holiday.
She was helped into the royal coach by Prince Phillip, as he accompanied
her on their journey down the mall. Thousands of well wishers,
many of them tourists wished her God Speed."
THE GREAT PRETENDER
.Rita pops up at the beginning of this next sketch. Set in Medieval
times, Benny plays the King who is going to get married. He arrives
in the castle shouting "Mother Angel. Mother my darling.
Mother my treasure". Then to audience "I'll thump
that old crow in a moment" and shouts "MOTHER!"
we hear Rita reply (off screen) "I'm in ere dear"
Benny shouts back "Your not on the thrown again?"
and Rita replies "No dear I ain't"
Benny (who looks like he's gonna crack up laughing) quips "You're
not allowed to, I'm the only one allowed to use that thrown, cos
I'm the king that's cos why." he continues "Now
Mother, have you sent out the invitations to my wedding?"
Rita appears and the audience applause, she sashays across the
floor dressed in her royal fineries (complete with medieval head
gear) she tells Benny "Yes dear I have, and why wasn't
the duchess of Gladly on the list?" Benny makes much
banter about her making strange noises and everybody thinking
it was him, Rita remarks "Well she couldn't help it"
then asks Benny "What's that yer got there?"
Benny like a child stomps about an sighs ""It's a
French book Mother, I'm learning to parlee vous François"
Rita enquires "Whatever for?" Benny replies
"Oh sacred Bloom Mother" and begins to tell her
what he will get up to on his wedding night. Finally he sends
her down to the Kitchen to speak to the chef. Rita turns away
from the camera and glides across the room opening the cellar
door and disappears from view.
|THE NEW AVENGERS
There was a gap of over five years before Rita joined Benny for
more antics, even getting her picture (alongside Benny and Henry
McGee) in "The Sun" News paper with the heading "It's
Rita appears briefly as a nurse playing cards in this famous sketch,
sitting around a table in a hospital playing cards with Benny (as
Steed) and Purdy. She can barely be seen to the right of the screen
putting her cards on the table she says in posh voice "Three
Gaul stones and an in-growing toe nail"
The "I Claudius sketch" featured Rita again as Benny's
(Claudius) mum. Rita and Henry McGee arrive with Rita shouting "Hi
yer darling, Mother's ere. Angel, precious, Ohhh I'll thump that
little swine if he don't hurry up. Where are yer?"
Benny off screen shouts with a stutter "I'm on the, in the
t-t-thrown room. I'm having a sh-sh-sh-shave and er sh-sh-sh-shampoo
and I sh-sh-sh- shant be long." Henry Mcgee who is poisoning
the food grunts, "I wish I had a red hot poker! I'd stick
the cold end in his ear, oh he would narf burn his hand trying to
get it out." Rita nervously asks Henry "are
you sure we're doing the right thing Quintus?" Henry
replies "Mother he's not fit to rule Rome and won't abdicate.
Poisons the only way." Benny comes into the room saying
"Oh that's better" Henry says "Hail Quintus.
How with the invasions of Britain?" Rita interrupts, more
cockney than ever "There like savages. They all live
in them council caves, and they was all covered in animal skins
wasn't they dear." Benny replies "Hail Quintus
(the audience roar with laughter presumably because he should have
said this line before Rita spoke) he continues "and not
only that they had helmets on their heads with great big horns sticking
out the side. And when we see them we didn't know whether to fi-fi-fight
em' or milk em'. We found out eventually. I bought back a lovely
little boy for my dog." Henry tells him "Our warrant
just bought back plenty of Christians to throw to the lions in the
arena." Rita tells him off "Oh don't say that,
he don't like it. He went last week, didn't yer dear?"
Benny close to Rita replies "Yes I did Mother"
He leans on her breast and say's "I'm sorry" Rita
has to stop herself from laughing as Benny continues "I
did Mother. I thought it was cruel. I cried for there was a great
big lion there, and he didn't have a Christian" Benny carries
on bantering with Henry then seated at the table with the (poisoned)
wine in his hand he says "Round the mouth and round the
gums look out stomach" he stops what he is saying as most
of the wine has been thrown over Rita, as he apologise to Rita she
tries to pursued him to eat saying "A bite to eat dearest"
he is reluctant and asks "Well I don't know, did you?"
he makes a sprinkling gesture as do Rita and Henry nodding. Benny
stutters "I'll have a p.p.p.pp" Henry shouts "Pear?"
and Rita shouts "Pie" holding the food up.
Benny gets his words out "Piece of that" still
stuttering Rita shouts "Beef" pushing the
meat in his face. Benny finishes "Bloody Pudding"
Henry passes him the bowl and as he tries to eat it Rita grabs him
and shouts "ABDICATE, ABDICATE!" Benny replies
"I'd rather have the pudding" then turns to Henry
and quips "Ere and another thing I want to ask you 'where's
the honey mummy'? (in Honey Monster voice) Rita again starts
up "Oh I can't be responsible. There must be some other
way." She goes close up to his face and says more cockney
than ever "Son have you ever thought of suicide?"
Benny replies, "I wouldn't like to commit suicide
Mother, I don't think I'd like that." Henry with a sinister
smirk tells him "How do you know you wouldn't like it, if
you haven't tried it? Now listen Claudius, Mummy and I don't feel
your equipped to rule Rome" the bantering continues as
Jack Wright as a slave is bought in by guards. Benny trying to show
his power tells Wright "If you speak the truth you will
be hanged and if you lie you will be fed to the crocodiles"
The camera closes in on Jack Wright as he holds his hands up and
says "I am going to be thrown to the crocodiles"
Benny defeated shouts "Oh, foiled again" he goes
over to Rita and Henry saying "I think we'll commit suicide"
Henry passes him food saying "Eat this" while Rita
gives him a glass of wine telling him "Drink this"
Benny walks away and is surrounded by women, he shouts back at them
"You do it your way and I'll do it mine" as he
stutters and gets carted away by the buxom beauties. Henry and Rita
take the poison and full back in their chairs and die.
Rita is seen in the background in a couple of segments of this sketch.
Decked out in a brown and orange dress as a TV glamour girl she
stands by the door as the guests arrive (Jack wright is dragged
up as the other Glamour girl) both of them are seen at the end of
the sketch along with Benny (as Dickie Davis) and cast wave goodbye
Rita is also seen (but not heard) in the crowd as Henry Magee and
crowd argue other the best TV programme
Another filler sketch this time advertising a tin of dog food. Rita
in a posh voice holds the tin up and looks at the camera, fluffing
her lines she says "If your friend should ask you how
much you paid for this tin of Chimpy dog food, you tell her to pee
off." Benny comes along correcting her with "You
tell her 2p off" he turns the advertising card with the
words 2p off written on them and comments as he walks off "are
you sure she's a national theatre player?" Rita puts her
finger to her mouth and frowns.
Silent gag. Benny is a flasher. Rita is a shocked onlooker, in hat
and brown coat.
At the end of the programme Rita is seen (wearing a fancy gold dress)
in the background with the rest of the cast, waving goodbye (as
Benny tells the audience how great they are, he turns around and
has a knife in his back) as the credits roll.
|VILLAIN OF THE YEAR
Rita appears in the background as one of the guests at the "Villain
of the year" awards, she is dressed up to the nines in a fur
shawl and diamond tiara in this sketch. The scene cuts to other
sketches then back to the ceremony. The final scene sees the lights
go out and when they come back on all the guests are in their underwear
as some "Villain" has stolen all their clothes
This silent little filler (which is inserted between the "Villain
of the year" sketch) features Rita in a long blonde wig and
red beret, she walks past Benny (who is a con man selling matches)
She flirts with him and when he doesn't take notice she makes a
face and walks away.
The scene cuts back again and Rita swans back in front of Benny,
takes the money from his hand stuffs it down her pink
blouse and grabs him by the arm pulling him with her, as he does
his hopeless Benny look.
Rita probably gets some of the worst insults on camera as Benny's
silent "ugly" bride. The couple are standing in front
of the vicar (Henry McGee) Rita puts on her "I'm an ugly old
hag" face and stands next to Benny smiling in her white wedding
dress, staring happily at the vicar. Benny on the other hand is
thinking about all the money he will get when her father pegs it
(Jack Wright) He looks at Rita and the camera gives a close up on
her face as he thinks "Oh lord I done it now ain't I, just
look at her, look at that face. Looks like it wore out two bodies."
And "aw she is ugly though. Cop that face, looks like an un-made
bed" he suddenly realises he has to sleep with her and goes
into a panic he thinks "Bed? ere will I have too? I can't,
I couldn't, I couldn't. I can't. I can't let myself in for this.
I just can't, I can't do it. I won't, I won't. Not for all the money
in the world." At this point his eyes are closed and the scene
goes into a speeded up fantasy as Benny runs out of the church,
finally turning up at his girlfriends house and as he holds her
in his arms and she says "You do want me don't you" Benny
shouts "I do, I do I do" and wakes up standing next to
Rita in the church with the vicar saying "and now you may kiss
the bride" Rita kisses Benny on the cheek as he stands there
in shock. As the newly weds leave the church, Rita linked to Benny's
arm looks on mesmerised while Benny passes the girlfriend in his
dream who is in the church as the tune to "Here comes the bride"
This sketch sees Rita as the wealthy mother, who's daughter wants
to sleep with the servant (Hill) Rita in a grey wig rushes into
the room shouting "Susan, my child what has happened?
My dear you can't sleep with the servant, you can't, you can't.
Not with him! It doesn't bare thinking about does it? (Benny
shakes his head yes & no)
Her daughter answers back "I've given my word. I've sworn
on your life. I must, I have too. Tonight I shall lye in his bed."
Rita pleading cries "Oh my dear let me go in your place"
Benny drops some crockery that smashes to the floor at the thought
of sleeping with Rita. Her daughter tells her "No mother,
I'm determined, if Charles won't beg my forgiveness I swear I'll
do it." Rita runs out of the room, hysterical crying "Oh
I can't bare it, I can't bare it, Charles, oh."
Rita was given one of her best "Hill" sketches as Edie
Grimphorpe in this episode. Benny arranges to meet Ruth and friend
outside "The Ritz" cinema. Ruth turns up alone and tells
Benny her friend Avril can't make it, but Edie Grimthorpe can. Benny
remarks "She always can, will she be going home first or
will she come straight round ere from the slaughterhouse?"
as he says this Rita turns up from around the corner. The audience
give her a round of applause as she excitedly says "Hello
Ruth, Hello Harry" Benny turns to her and says "Oh
hello, gawd it must be a face it's got ears on it." Rita
reaches into her handbag and gets out a powder puff, saying, "I
bet I look a mess?" Benny replies, "Yeah you
do an all" Rita powders her face replying, "There,
that's better" Benny throws another bitchy comment
her way "Than what?" Rita ignores him he looks
her up and down and says "And straighten yer stockings,
they're all wrinkled." Rita surprised answers "I'm
not wearing any." She turns to Ruth showing her necklace
off "do you like my pearls" she asks Ruth
"Ohh I like them Edie. Aw are they real?" Rita
replies "Of course they are" Ruth changes
positions with Rita and so is back to back with Benny who turns
around saying "Oh come on yer not gonna tell me those are
real?" as he points his fingers to Ruths busty chest. Benny
shouts at her "Don't keep nipping about like that"
Rita quips, "They're cultured" and Ruth
adds, "That's more than you are." Rita saddles
up to Benny and asks "Ere what about your friend. He
ain't one of them Punk Rockers is he?" Benny replies
"Oh no love he's very high class. He's more like a debs
delight, yer know." Rita excited, replies "Ohh
his loaded is he?" Benny with a smile on his face tells
her "Most nights" by this stage Ruth is getting
inpatient and asks where they were going. Benny standing next to
Rita replies "Well we can go in here if yer like"
he opens the newspaper and says "Or at the Regent there's
the "Sale of Two, Tale of to cities supported by the mummy's
hand" Rita has to stop herself from laughing as the audience
roar with laughter, Benny continues "Oh at the Bijou there's
"Naked as nature intended." Rita with a gasp cries
out ""Ohh I couldn't go and watch a film like that.
If I was to watch a film like that, I'd have to bury my face."
Benny can't resist another insult and yells "Well that's
an idea ennit." At this point the audience cheer as Jack
Wright enters the scene (wearing a spikey wig) Rita comments, "He
ain't much to look at is he?" and asks Benny "Why
don't he come over ere then?" Benny tells her "Well
I mean he's only twenty, he's a bit shy." And Rita snaps
"Yeah by about thirty years" Benny goes
over to Jack and asks him what he thinks of his date. Jack replies
"I don't think much of mine, bye-bye" and starts
to walk off, Benny pulls him back saying "Don't you wanna
see the monster of the black lagoon" Jack replies "I've
just seen her" Rita and Ruth are seen chatting in the background
as Benny chats to Jack Benny tells him "Listen mate she's
just been to the beauty parlour" Jack drolly asks "Was
it shut?" Eventually Benny persuades him to meet Rita.
Rita tells him "I don't think I've had the pleasure"
and again in true Jack Wright style he replies "I'm not
surprised." Ruth asks once more where they are going Benny
tells them "We don't all have to go together do we? I mean
two of us might wanna go in here and two might wanna go down the
tunnel of love!" with that Rita screeches "Oh
I don't wanna go down the tunnel of love with her. That's like bread
and bread." Benny snaps at her "What do yer
want, jam on it." Jack tells Benny they should all stick
together and Benny takes him aside for another little chat, telling
the girls "Excuse me will you" Rita shouts "be
my guest" and stands chatting with Ruth. Benny tells
Jack that they've got to split them up or they won't get anywhere,
Jack tells Benny he doesn't know what to do with Rita. Finally they
come back to the girls and Benny tells Rita that Jack is a "Reigning
all Ireland dance champion" adding "I expect you've
already noticed his stylish gate?" Rita in true cockney
style replies "I ain't even seen his house."
Benny undeterred tells her "and he as asked me to ask you
if you'll go dancing with him this evening?" Rita gives
him the thumbs down saying "Oh I can't see on account
of my very close veins" Ruth butts in and whisks Jack
away saying "Aw but I can, I've never danced with a champion
before!" Benny cries out "Oi what about me"
and Jack turns around and tells him "You've gotta split
them up, otherwise nobody's gonna get anywhere" the couple
head off dancing leaving Benny with Rita who excitedly tells him
"Oo you are crafty! The crafty way you got rid of them
so you could be with me. Why did yer pick on me then?" Benny
yawning replies "Cos you're so exciting." Rita
fuelled with excitement continues, "aw we could go to
the fun fair. I'd like to go in the haunted house"
Benny quips "You'd be at home in there, wouldn't yer."
Rita continues "They've got mirrors in there that make
you look ever such a funny shape." Benny again gives
a bitchy remark "You've got a head start ain't yer."
Rita still feeling romantic tells him "And then we could
go into the tunnel of love. And Harry you won't be disappointed,
cos I've put on some kiss proof lipstick." She pouts
her lips at Benny who fires back at her "You needn't have
bothered." Rita hurt this time asks "Why not?"
and Benny fires the final insult "Cos you've got a kiss
proof face!" Rita probably does her best bit of acting
in a Benny Hill sketch with this piece, and momentarily the audience
are stunned to silence as Rita turns comedy to tragedy and then
back again. She tells Benny with tears in her eyes ""Ah
it's no good me kidding meself, I know you'd rather be with Ruth.
I'm always the one that some fella gets stuck with. Never the one
he wants. But you must understand Harry, that even if a woman ain't
much to look at, she needs to be loved, just as much as a pretty
girl. More so in fact, because she needs reassuring. Can't you see
that Harry. Harry?" Benny looks guilty and asks "What?"
Rita says "I want you to do something for me, I want
you to ask me to go out with you. Ask me nicely, as if you really
wanted me too, Please Harry" Benny looks ashamed of
himself and tells her "Edie I'd be very proud, I'd be very
honoured to take you out tomorrow night. Will you come?"
Rita looks up at him all romantic like and says "Say
Please Harry, say please!" Benny does what she asks
him too "Please Edie, will you come?" and Rita
with venom spits back "NO!" and proudly
|STARSKY AND HUTCH
This was the final 70's show Rita would appear in. She gets a few
words of dialogue in the now famous "Starsky and Hutch"
sketch as Rita (donning a long black wig) shouts in an American
accent at Benny's "Starsky" "So
you got here at last! Have yer brought the money?" Benny
thinking she is 'Slimey Sue' shoots her, Rita screams and falls
backwards and as Benny finds out that 'Slimey Sue' is really the
young dolly bird he was savng, the camera zooms back to Rita lying
dead on top of Benny (as Hutch)
GRANNY OF THE YEAR
In this bizarre sketch Benny is competing in the first Granny of
the year show and Rita comes along as Granny Smith, when Benny goes
to jump on her back and ride her, Rita is switched for someone else
who wears an old woman's mask and the race begins.
Rita appears in the background as a party guest in this speeded
up film as Benny tries to run away from his wife who directly after
the wedding is getting fatter and fatter by eating everything in
site. The wife chases Benny and guest follow in tow. Rita is wearing
a bright yellow coat and big floppy hat.
In this silent filler we see good old Jack Wright doing the head
slapping to Benny for a change in a department store gag, Rita appears
as one of the customers who faints when she thinks that Benny has
dropped his trousers (it is actually a dummy) lying on the ground
in black trousers she awakes to see Benny standing next to her and
MILK MARKETING BOARD
The final sketch sees Benny singing a catchy song "The Streakers
Ball" for the Milk marketing company, the entire cast are involved
as "Benny's band" and Rita can be seen singing along with
the rest of them in the background (she is playing a flute) it is
possible to see how short Rita was to the rest of the cast in this
Another three years would pass before Rita appeared with Benny
for the final time Rita appears as a silent onlooker in the "Gallery"
sketch where Benny is very hungry. His wife (Helen Horton) won't
give him any of the food in her basket so Benny ends up going
into the painting on the wall which comes alive. Rita is seen
in the background as one of the people in the painting.
Rita in green coat and head scarf is also seen in the gallery
with Bob Todd as Benny steals their grandsons ice cream and the
couple pull him away.
GEORGE AND DRAGON
Rita's finest moment comes in this sketch, playing the part of
a medieval barmaid. Benny is "Chirpy Chuckles" wearing
a bright orange wig, he is sitting with his pal (Bob Todd) outside
the "George and Dragon Inne" Rita is standing by the
sign of the pub and Benny shouts at her "I say is George
in?" Rita storms over to them shouting, "Don't
you be cheeky" her friend follows behind and Rita
quips "Ere do you know Ellie-May?" Benny
replies "No, but thank you for the tip." and
carries on eating. Ellie tells him "Ere you're not allowed
to eat yer own food ere." (Benny swaps his food with
Bob Todd) and Ellie snaps "Pack it in, do you wanna get
me in trouble?" Benny in mischievous voice replies "Yeah,
what time do you knock off?" in which Rita replies "I'll
be going off soon" Benny insults her shouting "You've
been going off for years you have" Ellie ticks him off
"Oh, don't talk to her like that, she's a real treasure"
Benny fires back another insult "Well what do you wanna
go and dig her up for." Rita replies "Beauties
only skin deep." again Benny insults her "Well
you was born inside out then, weren't yer." Rita spits
back "We're all sisters under the skin."
Benny enjoying every moment shouts "Well get back under
yer skin and send yer sister out." Rita by this stage
has had enough and shouts at him "I've never been so
insulted in all my life!" and storms off as Benny
shouts behind her with glorified venom "You must have
The next scene sees Benny as the same character being a court
jester. Rita is playing a nun and is sitting next to Jack Wright
as the priest. Bob Todd arrives (as a different character and
walks past Benny who starts to sing his rhyming song, Jack Wright
shouts out "What about the nun" (Rita) Benny
carries on singing about her then Rita interrupts him shouting
"Priest, the priest!" and Benny carries
on until he eventually insults the king (Henry McGee) which leaves
him twitching nervously.
Although Rita's Benny career ended with this episode the programme
was made into compilation episodes and repeated many times. Acid
tongued Kenneth Williams wrote in his famous published diaries,
on 18th September 1980 "While I was at Louie's I saw a bit
of the Benny Hill rubbish on television: it looked like amateurs
staging a stag night with stealthy prurience & no honest healthy
vulgarity. Rita Webb doing her 'I'm really a very good actress'
number & failing miserably. It's a show of which any network
can be ashamed. (The "I Claudius" sketch featured in
this Compilation show)
Rita's first "Benny Hill Show" repeat after
her death came on 23rd September 1981 including the joyous
Milk Marketing board song (although a "Benny Hill
Show" repeat was aired the day after her death on
31st August 1981 for bank Holiday monday). The programmes
themselves have been repeated regularly all over the world
and are widely available on video and DVD
has written a new biography
on Benny Hill
titled "FUNNY PECULIAR-THE
TRUE STORY OF BENNY HILL"
, which was published
in 2002 to coincide with the tenth anniversary of
Benny's death. It is a must for all "Benny
Hill" fans and is available in most bookshops
and Internet companies. Among his many other publications
also wrote the "RADIO TIMES
GUIDE TO TV COMEDY"
which is the best Comedy
resource book available and should not be missed
by anyone interested in this medium. Both of these
books have a tremendous amount of detail and are
well worth their cover price!